When people hit difficulty – things that press them against the wall and leave them discouraged or in pain, they are most likely to blame either God… or the Devil. Followers of Jesus find it difficult to blame God – and the convenient alternative is… the devil!  I mean, why not? The truth is that sometimes difficulty is a season of life we’re in. Or what we’re trying to do is difficult – and we get stuck. Sometimes things are way more difficult than usual – because we’re out of gas; that is, we need a good rest, or we need a break – we’re burnt out! Sometimes it’s because we have, quite frankly, made a series of bad decisions. What is important to realize, in bad times, is that there are not demons hiding everywhere, but that Satan is an opportunist. He will try to use difficulty that would be there anyway – to shove our face in the mud. And in those same situations – God is at work to use difficulty for our good – and for His purposes!

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It would be easy to conclude when you hear what the Bible says about love is that the writers were extremely naïve. This would apply especially to the words in our favourite love chapter, Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. But the wisdom in these words is quite profound. In every relationship, there is a gap between what we expect and what we see. Everyone knows this. However, love that lasts is generous with that gap. God’s love is eternal – and that’s what His love is like; and if we want our love to last – that’s what our love must be like.

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When Jesus came, He surprised everyone by the name He used for God. Abba. It was the equivalent of a boy or girl calling their Father, Daddy. Papa. What’s fascinating is that Jesus – the Son of God – asked us to call Him Father – Abba – too. And we have all the benefits of that. He cares for us – like good Dad’s care for their children. He knows us – and loves us too – and Abba, Papa, Daddy – is at the core of this relationship. Best of all, He’s the loving Dad of those who stray away and finally figure out that it’s time to come home.

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We all have baggage. All of us. See – we had imperfect parents.  Imperfect siblings. Imperfect grandparents. Some of us have been hurt in ways we never deserved – and then we’ve hurt people in ways they never deserved. Actually? Because every person who’s ever been born in this world is bent – that is, has this inclination toward selfishness and worse – the baggage has been piling up for years. Honestly? Handling it, dealing with it, getting perspective on it and working through it is too much for us. But there is a great baggage handler! It’s the power of the Spirit of God who helps us see the baggage, deal with it and stop hurting people with it.

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One of the most tense moments of being a parent – and being a newlywed – is the hand-off that happens when the parents of a bride and groom say, “WE WILL” when asked officially – and unofficially if the new couple has their blessing. Truth is – negotiating the in-law thing,right – is critical to the health of the new relationship. This is way, way bigger than most couples – and most parents of couples think it is. There is a story from the Jewish Scriptures about one couple that got it wrong and splattered pieces of their family all over the landscape of 2000 BC… but we don’t have to do the same thing they did.

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You’ve seen the pendants; two people in love wearing two jagged halves of a broken heart. The implication is that if only the two pieces can come together, the heart won’t be broken! The two halves will make a whole; you know, the soul-mates will find each other and fit together forever! Have you ever noticed that the points on each half are sharp? And have you ever noticed that the points fit in a deficit in the other half? Actually? It’s true! The odds of a person marrying someone very different than them – frustratingly different – hover around 100%! Just the male/female differences are enough to make you cry. And that’s why marriage can only work well when men and women truly believe that it is more blessed to give than to take!

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Most potential parents these days start worrying about a lot of stuff when it comes to having children; money, education, enrichment – and “Can I do this? Can I cope? Can I raise a child into someone who makes a contribution to the world – and also fills my heart with joy?” The complicating factor, of course, is a world system that’s lost it’s way. The good news is that GOD has not lost His Way – and he still offers wisdom to everyone who asks for it. But there are some givens; every child needs irrational love, solid limits and great leadership.

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I’m always a little shocked when I see reality shows that feature a bunch of wannabe brides going after one particularly desirable bachelor – or the same in reverse with guys trying to win one very desirable bachelorette. Part of me wonders, “Why would you dumb down something that is so potentially beautiful – or dangerous!  Would you do this if you were locked and loaded for the rest of your life? With no exit strategy? No chance of parole – do not pass go, do not collect $200?!
Grit – in the relational world – is seen in two things; understanding that the passion, love, that drives the creation of a marriage and a family – is not enough on it’s own; for relationships to last and be healthy, it takes perseverance. That is – you do whatever it takes – pay whatever you need to pay – forgive what you need to forgive – admit what you need to admit and swallow what pride you have left to keep things together! When Hernan Cortes landed in the new world in 1519, he knew they were facing danger and extreme difficulty. To make sure everyone stayed in the game, he ordered, Burn the Boats! There was no exit strategy! Either they succeeded – or they died trying!

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